Things that make me inexplicably (or, in some cases, understandably) angry, vol. 2
-Oatmeal raisin cookies, particularly those cleverly masquerading as oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.
-That I'm 26 and still can't stop biting my nails.
-How my uniform pants make my butt look.
-How most pants make my butt look.
-Line dancing, unless it's the Electric Slide or, in rare cases and if I've had enough to drink, the Macarena.
-How anything and everything makes me cry lately. Today the follwing things made me cry: Sting's Fields of Gold, the Concordia bookstore website and a photo of baby tigers in The Jakarta Post. Lamest. Person. Ever.
-"Support ribbon" magnets. I can't help it. They seem so trite, particularly since the only thing they're actually supporting is the manufacturers of support ribbon magnets.
-How every time I go to the health center at school, even to get an aspirin or a cough drop, the doctor diagnoses me as pregnant or having some horrible disease. Even when all I say is, "Hi, I'd like an aspirin, please." Yep, definitely a symptom of being with child. Or of tuberculosis. Or possibly the bubonic plague. Or perhaps ebola. Most likely ebola.
-Not being able to go home for really, really important events without doing one of the following things: robbing a bank, starving ourselves to under 70 lbs. and having someone check us in their luggage when they go home or signing on to stay for a fourth year here. None of those things are going to happen. Therefore, neither is going home for said really, really important events. (OK, add this to the list of things that made me cry today.)
-Toby Keith.
-Accreditation.
-How we were told last year we'd be completely done with our part of the accreditation process last year, yet we got these "Let's Get Fired Up!!!" notes about all this (surprise!) extra stuff we need to do for accreditation this year. I'll show you fired up...
-Really passive-aggresively bitchy reminders that say "Happy Gram!" and have smiley faces on them. I'll show you happy...
-My forehead. It's huge. It could double as a helipad. I suppose I could sell it as ad space. This might solve our problem of not being able to go home until June.
-How the person who made my newest uniform skirt, which I do not wear, apparently decided to get really creative and use the waist measurements of Michael Moore, the hip measurements of Kate Moss and the outseam measurements of Shaquille O'Neal instead of my own measurements. Honestly, I don't know who this skirt would fit. Certainly no one my species.
-That my cat has somehow figured out how to open doors all by himself, despite having no visible opposable thumbs. Actually, this more amuses me than it does make me angry, unless it's 7 a.m. on a Saturday and kitty flings himself into the room just so he can pounce on my feet, all five pointy ends out.
-That I'm 26 and still can't stop biting my nails.
-How my uniform pants make my butt look.
-How most pants make my butt look.
-Line dancing, unless it's the Electric Slide or, in rare cases and if I've had enough to drink, the Macarena.
-How anything and everything makes me cry lately. Today the follwing things made me cry: Sting's Fields of Gold, the Concordia bookstore website and a photo of baby tigers in The Jakarta Post. Lamest. Person. Ever.
-"Support ribbon" magnets. I can't help it. They seem so trite, particularly since the only thing they're actually supporting is the manufacturers of support ribbon magnets.
-How every time I go to the health center at school, even to get an aspirin or a cough drop, the doctor diagnoses me as pregnant or having some horrible disease. Even when all I say is, "Hi, I'd like an aspirin, please." Yep, definitely a symptom of being with child. Or of tuberculosis. Or possibly the bubonic plague. Or perhaps ebola. Most likely ebola.
-Not being able to go home for really, really important events without doing one of the following things: robbing a bank, starving ourselves to under 70 lbs. and having someone check us in their luggage when they go home or signing on to stay for a fourth year here. None of those things are going to happen. Therefore, neither is going home for said really, really important events. (OK, add this to the list of things that made me cry today.)
-Toby Keith.
-Accreditation.
-How we were told last year we'd be completely done with our part of the accreditation process last year, yet we got these "Let's Get Fired Up!!!" notes about all this (surprise!) extra stuff we need to do for accreditation this year. I'll show you fired up...
-Really passive-aggresively bitchy reminders that say "Happy Gram!" and have smiley faces on them. I'll show you happy...
-My forehead. It's huge. It could double as a helipad. I suppose I could sell it as ad space. This might solve our problem of not being able to go home until June.
-How the person who made my newest uniform skirt, which I do not wear, apparently decided to get really creative and use the waist measurements of Michael Moore, the hip measurements of Kate Moss and the outseam measurements of Shaquille O'Neal instead of my own measurements. Honestly, I don't know who this skirt would fit. Certainly no one my species.
-That my cat has somehow figured out how to open doors all by himself, despite having no visible opposable thumbs. Actually, this more amuses me than it does make me angry, unless it's 7 a.m. on a Saturday and kitty flings himself into the room just so he can pounce on my feet, all five pointy ends out.
posted by Erin @ 2:23 AM
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