Oy.

We have some seriously weird people here.

A few days ago Mr. "I Tell Everyone How Much I Poop" and I combined one section of our English classes to watch a movie (we'd just finished a related novel).

The movie started with Jewish people praying in Hebrew, so even though I'd turned on the English subtitles, they were being shown in Hebrew for the time being.

Mr. Poops Too Much, also being Mr. Not Exactly Rocket Scientist Material, didn't quite get this. He asked me to turn on the English subtitles, and when I politely and quietly (so as to not distract the kiddies) told him that I already had, he yelled at me. In front of the students.

"NO! THESE ARE NOT IN ENGLISH! THESE ARE...FOREIGN."

So they are, Captain Obvious.

I took a deep breath and sloooooooowly and excruciatingly politely informed him that the people were speaking Hebrew. Because they're Jewish. And they're praying. In Hebrew. See? When they're done...you following yet? When they're done, the subtitles will probably be in English. See when I press this little button labeled "subtitles" and the screen says "English"? That means the subtitles are in English but because the people aren't speaking it right now it's in the language they are speaking. Mmm-kay?

He huffed his way back to his chair, mumbling something about "fine, but you can't expect the students to understand that language." By this time the subtitles were in English. Probably because the machine sensed his wrath.

He's not the only one, though. We have another rather... eccentric coworker. Only instead of being weird in a "too much information and just generally completely nutso" kind of way, she's weird in a "someday I might kill you all, and probably with a crochet hook or something" kind of way.

We sometimes give her a lift home, which is fine. Miss Mousie, as she shall be called, generally asks for a ride home by standing in the doorway of either my room or Travis's and staring at us for about three minutes before asking in an irritated tone, "Are you going home TODAY?!"

No, I plan to sleep under my desk tonight.

Then, if we do happen to be going home soon and not staying late for whatever reason, she stomps back and forth between my doorway and Travis's (we're next door to each other) and alternates between staring impatiently at me, at him and at her watch until we hurry the hell up and are ready to go. If students happen to be talking to us, she glares at them until they get a little scared and run off. It's special on all kinds of levels.

Anyway, yesterday we were giving her a ride home. On the way, we passed another coworker's house. The guy happened to be in his driveway and Travis had a question for him, so we stopped and rolled down a car window to chat for a minute. After we drove off, I jokingly remarked to Travis, "We should've offered to give him a ride home."

Travis laughed. Miss Mousie said nothing for about 90 seconds, then turned to me.

"He lives there. That was his house. He didn't need a ride home," she informed me, looking at me like I was maybe a little stupid.

My brain went into sarcastic overdrive, but when I opened my mouth, all that came out was a faint "oh..."

Honestly, where do we find these people? Am I on some weird reality show, and I'm just not aware of it yet?

See, now I sound crazy.