Super!

Just a random thought: Paula Abdul has gone completely batsh*t insane. Some claim she's been getting a little too drinky-drinky, but I'm kind of thinking maybe she's opted to forego margaritas and had just started downing shots of turpentine. Fun gal!

Tomorrow school gets out early for the kiddies and we're off for 24 fun-filled hours of staff retreat. Hoooooo-ray.

I know I should be more, um, enthusiastic, but my experience with these things has taught me that this will probably involve super-duper team building fun, plus a lot of clapping our hands and skipping in merry circles for our pal, Buddy Jesus.

Please understand-nothing against my Lord and Savior. Nothing at all. It's just that you KNOW something is lame when it makes ME feel like a stuffy old Lutheran. Remember the post about the "love train fantasy" song we once had to sing in staff chapel? Surely there is more of this to come. Whee. I'm a little nervous about the speakers, too.

Last week's staff chapel involved a guy who showed up 45 minutes late and despite the fact that there were 15 minutes left of chapel, he spoke for another 45.

He taught us that if we pray to Jesus and Jesus likes us, we'll probably win a car. He also told us a heartwarming story about this lady who thought she was an uggo, so she got plastic surgery to make herself look better. This made Jesus angry, so He punished her by giving her Tourette's-like facial tics that made her stick her tongue out every three minutes. Really.

Fun times, kids. Fuuuuuuuun times.