And then...

Today was weird. Yesterday's "situation," as it were, is in the process of getting taken care of. I hope. I stumbled through the day (mostly) without tears or near-breakdowns. I even managed to put on a happy face for my 7th graders. Hey, the theatre degree has to come in somewhere.

After school I ran into one of my favorite kids. (I know we're not supposed to have favorites, but come on-every teacher has them.) I don't have her in any of my classes, but I've worked with her on a project and she frequently visits me after school to chat about anything and everything. She always apologizes if the chats end up with her confiding in me about boys, friends, normal teenage stuff, and I always tell her I don't mind. This is the truth-in all honesty it means a lot that she trusts me and wants to talk to me about things.

Anyway, she approached me cautiously and asked me, very seriously, "Are you doing OK? I heard about yesterday."

I was honest with her.

"I've been better but I'm doing OK."

Then, in her typical mile-a-minute chatter, she went off. She was talking so fast, but I caught most of what she said-she was so worried after she heard about yesterday, she was afraid it would make me leave and not come back, worried I'd think students hated me or decide I hated them, decide I hated Indonesia, and was I really OK?

I told her I was pretty homesick yesterday, but that no, I wasn't leaving. I promised. And I don't hate Indonesia (on the contrary, I adore it) nor do I hate the school or the students.

Yesterday, I'd doubted our decision to stay. I cried until I didn't have any tears left, asking God why He'd let me come here in the first place and why He'd led me to think I should stay.

I should know better by now. He knows what He's doing.