Inalienable rights: life, liberty and the pursuit of mindless entertainment

Sunday night Kale called and told me he had bad news, that I'd better sit down.

I hesitated, because last time he did this he informed us that renegades had been prowling our neighborhoods and sliding horrible messages under locked doors, so we should check our house's entrances and lock up. As it turns out, this was merely a clever plot to get us to look in our front entryway, where he'd shoved some stupid photo under our door.

I sat anyway, just in case.

"As of tomorrow," he told me gravely, "Indovision will no longer carry Star World."

I don't remember my exact response, but I believe it was something my mother wouldn't have approved of me saying.

Star World is an Asia-wide network that brings us most major television shows from the States and a few other countries. Without Star World, there would be no Simpsons at 5, no Grey's Anatomy, no Scrubs, no Seinfeld reruns, no Desperate Housewives and--worst of all--NO AMERICAN IDOL.

It turns out Indovision somehow lost their contract with not only Star World but also Star Sports, ESPN, National Geographic and Channel V (a music network) as of May 1. We went into crisis mode.

"OK, AXN carries The Amazing Race, all the CSI shows and Lost...and we've still got CNN International for The Daily Show Global Edition and E! for The Soup...BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO WATCH AMERICAN IDOL?!"

Word spread quickly among the expatriate community, and it was received with largely the same response I gave, only varying slightly in profanity depending on the source.

I suppose we could have taken it in stride; it's only television after all, and we could do something creative and productive with our newfound extra time. But that would take too much effort. (At one point someone, I don't remember who, maybe it was me, remarked, "Is this going to be like after massive blackouts or snowstorms, where nine months from now we all have babies?")

We made it through Monday and Tuesday night, and some of us were starting to search for options so that we might be able to see the last few weeks of American Idol. We'd called Kabelvision, the other provider in the area, to see if they had Star World and check out subscription options. (Turns out they not only have Star World, they also have Al Jazeera. Whee!)

Then, this morning before staff devotions when some of us were just starting to comiserate on the American Idol we'd miss tonight, we heard the news: the government of Indonesia had stepped in and Star World is back on the air for two months at least. It turns out Indovision had received a measly TWO days' notice that they'd be losing those stations, and they'd figured that they would lose an estimated US$ 1 billion in business.

And yea, there was great rejoicing amongst the people, for the network television hath been restored unto them.