Home

Dictionary.com gives 11 definitions for the noun "home."

These definitions range from "a place where one lives" to "a native habitat."

I guess I never really thought about my own definition of home. Home was a lot of things, a lot of places. Then I came home this summer and everything I thought I knew about my definition of home didn't really make sense anymore.

Instead of our usual, rushed 18 days home, where we try to juggle seeing friends (briefly, unfortunately) with family obligations for Christmas, New Year's and recovering from jet lag, we had more than a month home. The only holiday was the Fourth of July, and we were free to spend that however. We spent a leisurely few weeks in Norfolk, then enjoyed a week in St. Louis before coming back to Lincoln. We got to really spend time with most of our favorite people, instead of rushed meetings with only a few of them, where we'd try our hardest to catch up over a couple short hours.

I don't know what it was, exactly, but something about this trip back made it clear to me that it's time to come back. Travis and I have talked about it quite a bit over the last few weeks and we're both in agreement that we are ready to move back after our third year.

As much as I adore my students and enjoy my job, it's time. I'm looking forward to this next school year because I will enjoy my students and classes, plus I'm excited to see the English department rebuilt after the removal of the catastrophically incompetent duo who made last year such a joy. I know we made the right choice in signing on for a third year and I'm not regretting that; I just feel, I know, in my heart that three years is enough. I have not felt this sure about a decision since the day Kale asked us if we'd consider moving to Indonesia and we said yes.

God has funny ways of telling us what's going on. We've both learned to never say never, but we are also both feeling confident and extremely at peace with our current decision. It's like a weight has been lifted, like this really is what we should be doing.

Unfortunately, our decision does mean that we won't be coming back for Christmas this year. We could, but we could also spend the three weeks resting and traveling somewhat locally to save several thousand dollars-which will be a good idea, considering we'll have to buy or lease two cars when we get back, among countless other expenses. It will be extremely difficult being away once December rolls around, I'm sure, but I also know that we'll survive-especially if we know we'll be back for good in June.

Right now we're thinking St. Louis looks like a good place to settle when we get back. We have a lot of friends in the area, we love the city (it's my favorite city on the planet, Istanbul coming in a close second), it's not really any more expensive than Lincoln and the job market will most certainly be better than Seward. Plus, there are several universities and colleges where we could get teaching certificates, going to school part time while we worked. It just kind of makes sense.

We've had a lot of things to think about over the last month. It's been rough. I've spent a good few weeks being kind of an emotional wreck, prone to crying over everything and sleeping way too much. It has been a month of seeing loved ones, shopping, road-tripping, piano bar singing, relaxing and just generally having fun. It's also been a month of confusion, frustration, being downright irritated with God and heavy soul-searching.

What is home, anyway? I wasn't sure. Now I know. Dictionary.com's fourth definition is the one I'm sticking with.

Home: A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin, an environment offering security and happiness.

Like all the cross-stitched samplers in your grandmothers' houses tell you, home is where the heart is, and mine is scattered all over the Midwest.

I'm ready to be home.