Me are smart

Today my 10th grade English class was playing board games that they'd made in class. The games were somehow supposed to follow the Hero's Journey, an archetype we've been studying in class.

I was invited to join in with a group whose game involved answering questions on a variety of school topics. Some were basic trivia (What is Mrs. Erin's turtle's name?) while others were more subject-intensive.

Midway through the game I ended up with an algebraic equation. I realized the last time I'd taken algebra was probably in 10th grade. Eleven years ago. I had no idea how to even begin.

Crap. So not only was I old, I was also a dunce.

"I haven't done algebra since I was your age," I told them, thinking if I was starting with the "when I was your age" bit I should probably throw in a "get off my lawn, you punks" for good measure.

"But um, you will definitely need math every single day of your life," I added, remembering how I used to throw my math books across the room in frustration and shout "THIS IS DUMB! I WILL NEVER NEED THIS!" My mother would calmly inform me that yes, I would.

I never did, until today.

It's like the time I was cruelly forced to take Chemistry 109 in college.

"I WILL NEVER NEED THIS!" I insisted to my journalism professor, who turned a deaf ear to my pathetic protests.

"You will. It's important," he said. I still maintain he just didn't want me to have my way.

So I took the course my last semester at college, stuck with a bunch of awkward freshmen guys. I even earned a decent grade, but I whined about how it was useless to me at every opportunity.

Months into my first job out of college, reporting for the Seward County Independent, I had to cover a story about contaminated soil. Along with listening to experts reason with townsfolk--a feat equivalent to stapling Jell-O to a wall--I also had to use some of my limited (very, very limited) knowledge of Chemistry.

I'm still hearing "I told you so!" from my journalism professor. Really, I sometimes think it's the only reason he still talks to me, so he can remind me and gloat.

"Remember how you didn't want to take Chemistry?!"

Yes.

So Mom, go ahead. Tell me "I told you so." I did need to know about algebra, after all. Too bad I didn't remember any of it.

On a completely unrelated topic, my 8th graders were working on short speeches in class today. The topic, one meant to ease them into persuasive public speaking, was "I believe everyone should _______"

It's meant to be lighthearted. Hopefully none of the kids are jaded enough to give a speech on "I believe everyone should piss off," which is one I feel like giving some days.

The kids were working quietly when one boy spoke up.

"Mrs. Erin? Is lust a bad thing?"

Um.

"What...uh, what is the, er, topic of your speech? I need to know the context," I responded, a bit taken aback.

The kid, one of the brighter bulbs in class who also possesses a wickedly smart sense of humor, thought for a minute, then smiled and shook his head.

"Never mind."

OK. Looking forward to hearing that speech, then.