...this is your brain on drugs

On Fridays we have student chapel fourth period. Yesterday we decided to forego chapel and instead listen to a guest speaker from the department of health, who wanted to give a presentation on bird flu, which has been a bit of a problem in Southeast Asia as of late.

We gathered in the gym, prepared to be underwhelmed. The presenter was a very earnest, nice lady who apologized for her poor English ability (though she spoke better English than some Americans I know) and proceeded to tell us via translator, sort of, how to avoid getting bird flu...I think. It was kind of vague and I was busy playing with my keychain.

Things did liven up a bit when she started telling us that it was OK to eat properly cooked chicken and eggs. Suddenly, this tiny lady in a headscarf turned into some inspirational speaker and wanted us all to give a shout out, homeboy.

"Repeat it after me!!" she commanded. "Say YES to chicken and eggs and NO TO DRUGS!"

We all sat, slightly bewildered. Huh?! Are people so worried about bird flu that they're actually substituting narcotics for poultry products?

"Yes to chicken and eggs, no to drugs," we all repeated, but not enthusiastically enough, apparently.

"Everybody! Remember!!! YES TO CHICKEN AND EGGS!!! NO TO DRUGS!!!!"

At this point my friend Steve leaned over and mumbled, completely straight-faced, "If only someone had told me this when I was younger. Then I wouldn't have been a vegetarian drug addict."

This caused everyone sitting in earshot to burst out laughing, which then caused a bunch of students to turn quickly to see why half of the teachers were cracking up. We're such good role models.

Of course, now this means I can't try out my new recipes for Crack Cordon Bleu or meth over easy, but what can you do?