Send out the clowns

According to an article on msn.com, the five most common phobias are snakes, public speaking, heights, rodents and flying...followed closely by dogs, cats, confined spaces, darkness and thunder.

NOWHERE does this article mention clowns. Maybe clowns are number 11.

Coulrophobia is defined as "abnormal and persistent fear of clowns."

I would argue that "abnormal" should pertain to "lack of fear of clowns," but I am not the psychiatrist here.

Somehow, I don't remember exactly how, my students found out that I don't like clowns. My older students found out first, during our newspaper class time.

"I understand," Anna comiserated. "Clowns are so...I cannot find the words for them. Disturbing? Is this the English word I'm looking for?"

"One of many, Anna," I told her.

Then she proceeded to draw a clown on my whiteboard. Anna, along with being one of the bright stars of grade 11, is also a fabulously talented artist. WHEN SHE DOES NOT USE HER TALENT FOR EVIL.

"Can't sleep, clowns will eat me," I informed her as she left my room to go to homeroom.

My own bouncy homeroom students came bursting through my doors moments later. This group of 8th graders is awake-ish in the morning but by the time they come back in the afternoon they're on hyper overdrive.

"Mrs. Erin! Why is there a clown and a drawing of you screaming?"

"Mrs. Erin! Don't you like clowns?"

No, clowns worry Mrs. Erin.

"Mrs. Erin, we're going to send you a clown for your birthday!!!"

Yaaaaaaaaaaay. This was the same class of students who found out, during Humanities class last year, that I don't like the word "slacks."

It took approximately three seconds for the conversation to evolve to, "Hey Mrs. Erin...do clowns wear...SLACKS?!"

Only the truly evil ones do. Mimes. Mimes wear slacks.